Man vs Bear

Trigger warning: content contains topics of sexual harassment and assault

"I choose the bear"

A hot topic of conversation on TikTok a few months ago is the man vs bear debate. The premise is as such: if women had to choose to be stuck in the woods with a man or a bear, many would choose the bear. Although an encounter with a bear could result in being viciously mauled, many have said that the worst a bear could do is to kill if it felt challenged or threatened—and that is within their natural survival instincts. A man, however, would be more unpredictable. How can one ensure that a man would act humanely? If a man were to act violently against a woman, it would be intentional, with malicious intent. The same can’t be said of bears.

As is the nature of all internet discourse, this argument that women feel safer around a potentially vicious wild animal than they do around a man has received backlash. Some people have even gone as far as to say that this debate was conceived out of a "toxic feminist agenda to harbor animosity towards men." So let us look at the facts and statistics to understand why many women choose the bear.

The reason women choose the bear is simple: women are scared of men. This fear is fuelled by the violence committed against women by men. In the UK, the National Police Chief's Council found that an estimated two million women a year fall victim to male violence, a number so severe that they described it as a national emergency. These acts of violence include stalking, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. In Malaysia, 58.6% of Malaysian women have reported experiencing sexual harassment when in public spaces. And bear in mind that these reports are only those who have bravely vocalised and reported their experience. Given that 96% of those that have experienced sexual assault do not report it, we can only imagine how much more significant the amount of violence against women truly is.

In the past month alone, news articles reporting crimes against women by men have been terrifyingly frequent. On August 9th, a 31-year-old Indian female doctor sought rest after working a 36-hour hospital shift and was brutally raped and murdered. On August 17th in Malaysia, an Orang Asli child went missing one evening only to be found dead in a swampy area with investigations suggesting that she had been raped before being murdered. Yesterday, a French man was brought to court for orchestrating an estimated 200 instances of rape against his wife by drugging her with sleeping pills and inviting men to rape her.

A common rebuttal to the man vs bear debate (and other similar conversations around sexual assault) is the "not all men" argument. However, after looking at the statistics and frequency of these crimes, it cannot be denied that whenever a woman is harmed, the perpetrator is usually a man. By saying "not all men," the focus of the conversation shifts to the men rather than the women who are being hurt.

This debate is not to increase the animosity against men. Rather, it is to spark an important conversation that raises awareness about the violence against women, to bring about changes that reduce the number of these crimes and improve women’s safety. The women's coach in the Malaysian MRT is a prime example of this. As more and more women vocalised the sexual harassment they experienced during their commutes, this increased awareness pushed the government to enforce the women-only coach in the hopes of reducing the crimes against women and increase the safety of female passengers. Conversations  and debates similar to this man vs bear debate hold great importance as they have the possibility of making changes for the better.

The man vs bear debate has also empowered even more women to speak up about their own experiences of violence committed against them. Vocalising traumas and abuse have been found to have psychological benefits as they reduce self-blame and enhance victims’ self-compassion, which could reduce the negative mental health outcomes. As women share their experiences, this could lead to an enhanced social support system which could help them feel less isolated in their experience and more understood.

If there is only one thing you take away from this blog piece, let it be this: the crime rates and statistics don't lie. Before taking offense, listen and try to understand where these victims are coming from.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, please reach out for support by contacting this number:+603 3000 8858 (Women's Aid Organisation). Help is available.