Oct 303 min read

Cheating Trend: Understanding the Sentiment

The phrase “I hate men” has likely popped up on your feed at least once, especially if you’re part of Gen Z. For some, it’s a powerful statement of frustration, often rooted in personal experiences or fueled by what’s shared on social media. From dealing with misogyny and infidelity to enduring the pressures of patriarchy and even facing sexual violence, these shared experiences feed into this sentiment. Recently, stories of celebrity breakups and divorces due to cheating—often by men—have become almost commonplace, amplifying the narrative even further. But it’s not just celebrities; the same disappointments exist in everyday relationships.

This collective frustration builds and, for some, becomes a way of perceiving men in general. By saying, “men are a disappointment,” some may be trying to shield themselves from future letdowns. However, while this trend often uses humor or satire to cope, it also risks promoting misunderstandings, even potentially shaping the views of younger audiences who might be more influenced by these narratives. That’s why it’s important to recognize that, while the frustration may be real, generalizing an entire gender won’t resolve these issues. Achieving true gender equality involves dismantling both misogynistic and misandrist views, allowing us to address these issues more thoughtfully.

Take the recent example of the famous Malaysian celebrities' divorce news. When it was announced that the female celebrity had filed for divorce, assumptions quickly emerged, suggesting that the male actor had been unfaithful—even though infidelity was never mentioned. This kind of speculation only adds fuel to existing insecurities, making it harder for people to trust one another. Over time, it’s no surprise that some women feel wary about marriage or even relationships altogether.

Understanding what drives some people to be unfaithful can clarify misconceptions and foster compassion. Although it doesn’t justify the behavior, here are some common reasons behind cheating:

Lack of commitment to make the relationship lasts.
Emotional dissatisfaction, leading people to seek connection elsewhere.
Situational factors, such as peer influence ("Everyone else does it, so why not?")
Low self-esteem, which may drive some to seek validation outside the relationship
Unresolved past experiences, using cheating as a misguided coping mechanism

Again, none of these reasons justify cheating, but understanding them can lead to more open and honest communication in relationships.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (1986) breaks down love into three essential components:

Passion is the romantic spark—the physical attraction and desire between partners.
Commitment is the dedication to maintain the relationship over the long term.
Intimacy is the deep emotional connection and closeness that allow partners to share vulnerabilities

Ideally, a fulfilling relationship will have all three. If one element is lacking, however, it can cause strain. For example, relationships driven only by passion and commitment (known as “fatuous love”) may fizzle over time due to a lack of intimacy. Understanding which component is missing in your relationship can guide you toward what needs work. If you’re curious to see how your relationship measures up, check out Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale. It can provide valuable insight into which areas might need more attention.

Once you understand what may be lacking, there are ways to revitalize trust and intimacy, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or a friendship.

Effective Communication
Though it sounds like a cliché, communication is essential. Remember, effective communication is a two-way process. Listen actively and be concise, choosing words thoughtfully and keeping emotions in check.
Clear Boundaries
Talk openly about what you consider to be acceptable behavior and what crosses the line. Establish clear, direct, and respectful boundaries to make sure both partners feel respected and secure.
Honesty
Whenever doubts arise, voice them directly and respectfully. Transparency is key, as broken trust can be difficult to rebuild.
Quality Time
Prioritize spending time together, whether through familiar routines or new experiences. Quality time reinforces your bond and gives you opportunities to grow closer.

For relationships grappling with serious issues, seeking professional help or attending couples therapy can be incredibly beneficial. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, certain relationships may need to come to an end for the well-being of both individuals involved, and that’s perfectly okay. Recognizing when it’s time to let go can be a courageous step toward healthier futures for both partners. Ultimately, prioritizing mental health and personal happiness is crucial, whether that means working to mend a relationship or finding the strength to move on.